What Could Of Been
by lilytimes
Summary: Bella had to raise there boys on her own, but when there eldest phases will Paul realise his mistake.
1. Chapter 1 family

**Hi all this is not the sequal to finding imprint that I should be posting, but I decided to post this new Paul and Bella story first, now I will pre-warn you that in this Paul is a bit of an arsehole, but he does get better along the way. My beta is pretty busy right now so this is un-betaed all mistakes are mine. **

Chapter One Family

Jason Lahote couldn't understand how his mother could still be with such a pig.

As he watched his own father flirt with another woman whilst his so called uncles and aunts stood by and watched, he wondered why his mother stayed.

He hated the Uley gathering's to him even at a young age they were useless, a waste of time where he could of spent it playing with his mama and his siblings.

Glaring at his father some more he hoped that his mother couldn't see what the arsehole was doing.

Checking to make sure that his sweet mother wasn't in the room, he made a bee line for the kitchen seeing his twin brothers Harry and Charlie sitting at the kitchen table with Samantha Uley and Daniel Cameron made him frown, at ten they caused a lot of trouble, more sometimes then his mother can handle.

Starring out the window, he saw his mother with his other brothers sitting on the seat with her. Harley 7 and Adam 5 were gently swinging the seat as there mother laughed lightly at them.

He couldn't imagine any other person in the world he could depend on then his mother.

His mother put up with a lot, and most of the time he wasn't sure why she even did it.

He knew she wasn't one to walk away, but even at the age of twelve he wandered why she put up with his father.

Frowning when he heard his father's laugh, he knew that the blonde he was with was probably wrapped up under his arm, falling for his charm.

He wandered when his father was at work half the time if he was off seeing another woman, sometimes he wandered if he had any half siblings out there.

"Jason what are you doing in the kitchen?"

Turning he frowned as he saw his aunt Emily, looking back out the window he stated "I was looking for mum, I wish to go home"

"Its only 8" Emily stated

Turning to stare at her, he eyed her round belly, early that night he had watched his Uncle Sam wrap his hands protectively around her belly, and whisper sweet things in her ear.

Out of all of his mother's pregnancies he couldn't ever remember his dad touching his mother's pregnant belly, he couldn't even recall if he opened the door for her, like uncle Embry did Leah or bring her a blanket when she was cold like Quil did Clare.

Looking down at the floor, he walked out of Aunt Emily's kitchen, gripping the back door, he pushed it open, approaching his mother, he sat next to her and watched his brothers tumble on the grass.

"What's wrong baby?" his mother asked as she brushed his locks from his forehead

Leaning into her hand he asked "can we head home? I'm not feeling well"

Placing her hand on to his forehead she frowned "you are a bit warm" she stated, nodding she reached down and squeezed his hand she called softly to Harley an Adam "come on boys lets go say good bye to the pack, then we'll head home" grabbing up Adam she chuckled lightly "and I know someone who needs a bath"

Shuffling my feet I walked up the front porch, Harley just in front of me as we walking into the house.

As soon as mum walked in the room seemed to hold there breath as all of my supposed uncles eyed Paul that was leering at the blonde to my mother who was gathering up Harry and Charlie.

My mother sighed tiredly as she looked over at our father, his hand somewhere up the blonde's shirt.

Clearing her throat she stated "I'm taking the boys home, it was a lovely evening Emily" turning to our father she stated "I'm sure you know where that is Paul, or have you got lost somewhere up the blonde's shirt"

Our father smirked as he sipped the drink that was in his other hand, the blonde had the decency to look embarrassed.

Placing her hand on the back of my neck my mother steered me and my brother's from Aunt Emily's house.

Walking down the road with my mother I couldn't help but wander why she stayed with him.

Walking with my mother, as she watched Charlie, Harry and Harley walk in front of us I wanted to know how her life had turned out like this.

Later that night as I laid in bed I heard my father arrive home, I knew that my mother was sitting up in the lounge room, having her cup of tea as she wrote her latest news article for the magazine she worked for.

As he stumbled up the front porch stairs, slamming the door as he entered, I shifted slightly in the bed, to be able to hear them clearer.

Hearing the silence that followed I know that mum was ignoring him, creeping out of my bed and walking over to my door I tried to listen to what was being said, peaking through the crack I could see where my mother sat, my father standing over her, his arms either side of her on the table as she tried to type.

He nuzzled her as he stated "come to bed Swan"

My mother brushed him off turning to the computer "I have a deadline Paul" she breathed.

Grunting Paul reached over and shut the laptop with a snap.

His mother's sharp in take of breath had him wanting to run to his mother's rescue.

With a deep sigh his mother took a sip from her cup of tea, with patience from dealing with his brother's all day she stated "and what would sleeping with you tonight benefit me?"

His hand ran down her arms and wrapping them around her waist he pulled her out of her chair, spinning her and sitting her on the table top, he invaded her personal space.

Her mother slapped him on the chest "don't you dare Paul Lahote, I am not having sex with you our boys have only gotten to sleep"

"Yours not mine" he spat as he proceeded to left her shirt.

His mother, tugged her shirt down and pushed him away from her "don't you dare" she hissed "don't you start that crap, who's do you think they are this time Paul, I'm your imprint remember I cant cheat on you unless you want me to" breathing deeply he watched his mother stand up from the table and walk towards his door, backing up away from the crack in the door he listened as his mother continued "we have been married thirteen years Paul, when in them have I ever given the thought I was unfaithful, unlike you I dot go out and try to break the imprint, unlike you I stay home and look after our boys, because out of this whole situation, they are the only gifts you have given me"

"Jacob gave you" Paul snarled as he throw his mother's cup of tea at the wall, the sound of the smashing china tore a scream from Jason's throat.

There argument stopped as his mother throw open the door.

Knowing he had been sprung, he waited for his mother to reprimand him for ears dropping, but instead she muttered "it's ok baby, mummy just dropped her cup, everything is fine" as she guided me to the bed and tucked me into bed, her lips lingering on my cheek she stated "go back to sleep baby, everything is fine" her lips brushed my ear as she barely whispered "go to sleep your father's home, baby, its all going to be ok"

Rising she closed his door, making sure it latched.

He could hear her pattering around the kitchen his father silent as he always watched his mother.

Hours later he heard a thump followed by the bed squeaking in his mother's room, followed by his mother's breathy sigh as she whispered "I love you Paul"

Before he dozed off to sleep he swore he heard his father whisper "I love you to Bella"

**So…let me know what you think**

**Lily.**


	2. Chapter 2 family traits

**Hi all…. I couldn't wait to post the next chapter so I have decided you get it today, instead of waiting to see how you guys like the story….. anyway, this is all my work including but not limited to the mistakes =)**

**Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter Two Family traits

Wiping the sleep from his eyes he plopped down in the kitchen chair, disturbing his mother's paper work as it was spread out on the end.

He ached all over, his body was sore and he had been snapping at everyone for the last few days, he felt like everything around him was out to anger him, even the dustbin in the laundry had pissed him off when it had fallen off the shelf.

It had started when his father had been here for two weeks before leaving again to go stay at the construction site he was working at.

He had over heard his parents arguing again when his mother had brought up his health, she had said that the gene had been past on, she remembered Jacob going through the same thing.

He father had snarled that she had better go tell her lover then that his bastard child was going to phase.

He had left after that, a packed lunch in his hand and hard hat on his head as he kissed Adam lightly on the forehead.

Jason knew he was going to be gone for at least a month this time, which meant that his mum would get sick again.

If they spent anymore then two weeks apart, his mother always got sick, she didn't sleep, eat or talk very much when he was gone very long.

As his mother gathered her papers, from in front of him she stated "your brothers are outside, and Adam's down for a nap how did you sleep baby? Do you feel better?"

I groaned slightly "I think a truck hit me"

Frowning my mother directed me to the coach "you just rest baby, I'm going to call your Uncle Sam he might be able to help"

Drifting off to sleep he listened as Bella's soft voice called Sam, the dial tone seemed to ring through his head, before his mother punched in the phone number.

"Sam its Bella, I think its going to happen tonight"

She paused as he spoke. "Please" she begged "please come help him, his temperature is 107. Sam please"

He heard his mother sigh in relief as she hung up the phone.

It wasn't 5 minutes later that my uncle Sam was standing in the living room, he eyed me as I lay there, I was to sore to even acknowledge him standing in front of me.

Groaning slightly I closed my eyes

"Sam" Bella whispered

"He's going to phase soon Bella" Sam stated "if he starts to shake"

"I know" she cut across "make sure none of the boys are around him, but his only twelve"

"That vampire we haven't caught has caused the gene to trigger in this generation, remember Brady and Collin were only thirteen when they phased for the first time"

Bella nodded, brushing his hair from his face before showing his uncle out, as she walked him out Jason heard her whisper "could you let Paul know when he joins tonight's patrol"

Hearing that his father was going to know he was sick, and still not turn up had his body seized with tremors.

The bastard didn't deserve to be anywhere near his mother.

Breathing deeply, he tried not to sob in pain as he tried to calm the anger that just seized him.

Closing his eyes he tried to calm down.

It wasn't until he heard his mother laughing in the bathroom that he realised, he had slept the afternoon away, and he had missed dinner, frown he read eight on the lounge room clock.

Swallowing his suddenly dry throat he rose from the couch and headed towards the kitchen, he could smell his mother's chicken parcels he loved so much.

Opening the microwave he pulled out one of the two plates that were in there, frowning he counted five empty plates in the sink.

Who was the other plate for?

Shrugging it off for now, he shovelled the food into his mouth, as soon as the plate was empty he sat it on the side of the sink.

Looking up he smiled as he saw his mother watching him

"How ya feeling baby?" she asked as she walked over to the sink

"Where is everyone?" he asked as he noticed for the first time the quiet house

Bella smiled as she remembered her boys "they are all in bed, Harley and Adam are asleep, but the twins are a different story" she stated filling the sink with hot soapy water.

The sound of gravel crunching in the drive way had him frowning, he knew that his mother didn't have guests this late, and if it was an emergency the phone always rang before someone turned up on the door step.

As the door was thrown open he knew exactly who it was "Bella, why the hell did you call me, I told you not to get Sam to call me unless it was an emergency"

Growling at the way HE spoke to his mother Jason felt the buzzing burning sensation run up his spine as his father came to stand in the doorway.

"What are you still doing up?" he asked as he looked at me, as he approached my mother at the sink "I smell those chicken things you make" Paul stated, as he braced his hands either side of her small frame

"I saved you a plate Paul" Bella whispered, as she ducked under his arm, and approached the microwave.

Snarling as he watched Paul sit at the table, he felt the whole thing shake under his palms.

His father's eyes snapped to his as his mother approached him, feeling his mother's hand on his heated skin he felt his breath come sharper.

"Jason" Bella whispered

"Get away from him now Bella" Paul snarled as he pushed up from the table, in two strides he had forcefully removed his mother from his side, and had him by the top of his arm, throwing him out the back door

"Paul" Bella reprimanded

"Don't fucking come closer" Paul snarled as he throw Jason on the ground

Spitting up dirt he felt the anger at his father course through him, raising to give the bastard the punch he deserved for talking to his mother like that, he felt a sharp pain pass through his limb, causing a scream to bubble up and fall from his lips.

It wasn't until he looked down, that he realised he had paws.

**Thank you all for reading/reviewing/favouriting/following I really appreciate it.**

**lily**


	3. Chapter 3 The Pack

**All mistakes are my own, I'll be posting chapter three and four today as they kinda go together, and Bella POV starts in chapter four as well…. Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter Three The pack

Jason a voice called

Turning around he looked up to see Paul was restraining his mother, as he pushed her back into the house he stripped in front of me, feeling the urge to rip him apart Jason snarled, bearing his teeth.

As he blinked where Paul once stood now was a giant silver wolf, feeling the power radiating off him in waves Jason felt something inside him want to back down.

Instead he screamed "Bastard" and tore up his mother's lawn as he lunged himself at Paul, as Jason placed his silver paws on Paul and his jaws around Paul throat, he felt satisfaction tear through him.

Before he could get a good grip he was slammed to the ground, the giant silver wolf he knew to be Paul resting on top of me.

_Wow _the voice called again _who would have thought that Paul's son hates him_

_Shut up Quil_ Paul snapped _if I let you up will you attack me again._

The way he treated my mother flashed through my mind, this man had done nothing but hurt her, he didn't care that much that he had denied him from birth, it was more the fact that he had denied his brother's only sticking around when he thought we were all asleep.

_You really are an arse _

The voice of my aunt Leah had me squirming in my father's jaw, trying to turn around and see her. As a slick grey wolf approached as, throwing my father off me, Jason felt someone lick at the blood where Paul had gripped him to tight

_Aunt Leah?_ Jason asked

The grey wolf yipped as a voice whispered _of course baby who else would it be_

_So he recognises your voice but not ours_ Embry stated as a grey wolf with black spots appeared before him, looking through his eyes Jason could see that he was an exact copy of his father but short and less muscle bound.

_What is this_- Jason asked as he watched a sandy coloured wolf, followed by a red one, a black one and a chocolate brown wolf approach the gathering in his backyard.

Looking around Jason could see two wolves a reddish brown and a dark brown nearly grey peering out of the woods.

_Brady, Collin go run patrol, Paul I think you should phase out you being here might not help_ Sam stated

Thinking of Paul anywhere near my mother brought up the conversation he had overheard the other day.

"Why do you stay with him?" Angela asked as she sipped the coffee in her hands "Bells I know you provide for the boys on just your salary, and he wants nothing to do with the boys, do you love him is that it?"

I watched as Bella sighed tiredly, tears slipping down her cheeks "it's not just that I love him Ang, I can't leave him, as much as it sounds stupid he does see the boys, and he does love us I know he does"

"when Charlie and Harry were born he wasn't even around, I know he didn't help change one diaper let alone settle one to sleep, the only one I have seen him show interest in is Adam, and then it's that creepy stare he does" sighing Angela gripped Bella's hands in hers "if you want to leave him I can help hun, you know I will, you can come live with me and Ben, go back to college like you always wanted to do get that teaching degree"

"I can't leave Paul" Bella stated as she sobbed lightly

"Why not?" Angela demanded

Wiping at her eyes Bella looked around before stating "I think I'm pregnant"

Angela gripped Bella's hands tighter as she whispered "please tell me this one isn't Paul's?"

Bella shook her head "stupid me has only had sex with the one man" wiping at her eyes she laughed "just my luck, as soon as I see him and tell him he'll deny it like he has done every other pregnancy"

"Bar Adam" Angela pointed out

Collapsing into tears Bella sobbed "I have no idea what to do anymore Ang, I'm so lost"

Ending that thought Jason felt all of them wince, he turned his head to look at the grey wolf standing motionless in the backyard, his huge form seemed to be froze in shock over Jason's memory.

_I think Paul you need to leave_ Sam stated as he stepped in between Jason and Paul

Feeling a shimmer as Paul phased out Jason shivered, watching him through Sam's eyes as he met his mother at the stairs, he felt a snarl bubble up inside him.

As soon as he saw Bella's worried face his snarl died down to a whine, as he watched her being lead back into the house with Paul's big hand laying flat across her back.

_I'm sorry mum_ Jason whined as he tried to approach the steps to the house.

For once he felt like the monster that was hurting her, not the man that was currently in the house with her.

_How do I turn human_ Jason whined

_Think human thoughts baby_ Leah urged as she stepped up to Jason's left

Jason vaguely wandered how her and Embry's baby was able to transform into a giant wolf, before he pictured himself laying on a blanket with his mother, at the beach as they watched his younger brothers playing in the sand and the surf.

A shiver ran through him before he found himself naked in his back yard.

Sitting cross legged Jason covered his penis as a blush rose high on his cheek he realised that all his uncles could see it.

He watched as Leah an Embry headed to the bushes returning a moment later in there human forms, Embry guiding her across the lawn as her dress pulled tight across her stomach, Jason was struck again wondering how phasing could be safe for the baby.

Looking towards the house he saw Paul appear with a pair of sports shorts, grabbing them he turned around, using the black wolf as cover he pulled the pants up making sure that aunt Leah didn't catch sight of his penis.

As soon as he was dressed, he noticed that all of them were bar the black wolf, that morphed into his uncle Sam.

"Bella's put the kettle on" Paul stated as he looked at me "is he safe to go near her"

Feeling the urge to bare his teeth at him, Jason snapped "I'm not the one that hurts her" he shook his head before taking a step towards his mother, racing up the back stairs he throw open the door, feeling the urge to bury himself into his mother's arms like a little child, he tried to stop the sob that built up in his chest.

Clinging to his mother, he felt her wrap her arms around his and softly pat his hair softly

"Shh baby its ok" she whispered as she tried to calm me down "its going to be ok"

Snuffling Jason whispered "I look like him"

"I know" she whispered back "but its ok, baby, its ok"

Clinging to his mother he never wanted to let her go, he wanted to stay in her arms where it was safe, where nothing could came get him.

Bella guided him to a chair, looking up he realised that his uncle Sam, his uncle Jacob, his aunt Leah, his uncle Embry and Paul sat around the table.

Placing a plate of her choc chip cookies in front of him, Jason realised how hungry he actually was licking his lips, he waited for his mother to sit beside him before he grabbed a cookie.

Uncle Sam cleared his throat as he stated "you know all of our legends"

"yeah" Jason stated "mum used to read them to us before bed, and grandpa Billy tells them at the bonfires all the time" pausing he looked up at his mother, seeing tears in her eyes he grasped her hand in his under the table "does it mean that vampires are real to?"

"Yes" Sam stated "you phased because we have been having trouble with a vampire that keeps coming and going from the res, were unable to find her"

"so we kill them right, like in the legend of the new born war" grinning Jason added "so it was uncle Jacob that got hurt"

Jacob scolded as he stated "I was saving your aunty Leah"

Chuckling slightly, he remembered the story his mother told him of the wolf who got his head stuck in the tree for a day "it was uncle Quil who got his head stuck right"

Smiling his mother pated his hand "yes it was your uncle Quil"

His mother filled him in on the fact that most of the stories she told with the wolves in it were legends from this pack and the last one.

It wasn't until Aunt Leah, Embry and Jacob left that it was just Uncle Sam, mum, Paul and Jason that he felt that he should probably stop acting like an arse to his father.

Yawning Jason looked at the clock above his mother's stove reading midnight he slumped in his chair.

Smiling Bella kissed his forehead "going on baby, off to bed I'm sure your uncle Sam wants to use you all tomorrow"

Frowning as he stood Jason wandered why she wasn't following him to tuck him in like she did every night, he might be pushing up twelve, but he still needed his mum.

Turning slightly so that he faced Bella he tried to sound like an adult as he asked "aren't you going to come tuck me in?"

Ignoring the look on his father's face, my mother beamed at me, following me into my bedroom, hopping into bed, Jason waited for Bella to kiss his forehead before turning off the bedroom light.

As his door shut with a click Jason fell asleep straight away

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**lily**


	4. Chapter 4 Back bone

**All mistakes are my own….Here we go…**

Chapter Four Back Bone

Isabella Lahote, had been through a lot in her life, but when her oldest son phased for the first time she thought she might have nightmares for the rest of her life.

Seeing her husband of thirteen years phase as well a tiny bit of her got satisfaction at the fact that Paul couldn't deny his son any more, as he was an exact copy of the taller muscular grey wolf in front of him.

Biting her lip as she watched Jason charge Paul she felt her heart shatter a little

She knew that Jason couldn't understand Paul, but never in her wildest dreams did she think that he hated Paul.

Watching as Paul grabbed him by the neck, Bella gripped the door tighter in her hands as she held her breath.

She was glad when Leah came along shoving Paul off of Jason.

Biting her lip she wondered what the pack thought of all this, she knew that some of them actually thought that she was sleeping around on Paul, that none of the kids were his.

As Paul came bounding up the stairs grabbing her arm and gently turning her into the house he stated "his going to be fine Bella"

Trembling slightly like she always did, remembering there first year of marriage as he gently took her into his arm, she couldn't help the sob that came up as she clung to him.

As he placed a kiss to her crown, she thought that maybe he did still love her.

"Mummy"

Hearing her five year old snapped her out of her pity phase.

Pulling away from Paul, she flicked the kettle on before following Adam back to his room.

"Is daddy home?" Adam asked

"Yeah" Bella whispered "he is"

"Is he going to stay" Adam asked as he crawled back into bed

"I don't know" Bella whispered back, kissing Adam on the forehead "go to sleep ok baby"

Before an ok could leave his mouth, Adam was asleep

Walking into the kitchen, Bella leant against the counter top

"I think I might stay home more often"

Looking up Bella tried to hold the comment on the tip of her tongue, she knew just as well as the whole Res did that Paul only visits when he needs his fix, to the Res it's so he can sleep with her. But to the pack it was the mating improvise of the imprint telling them to screw like bunnies, because there bond was still uncompleted.

Rubbing her arms lightly, she stared at him.

She had another baby on the way, which meant she was going to have to get an extension built on to the house, because she knew that she defiantly couldn't make Jason share with any of his brother's now.

She knew the twins preferred to share over anything else, so they were fine, it was just Harley and Adam that she would eventually have to separate.

Sighing she know that with this new baby money was going to be even tighter, and she would have to ask her editor if she could have that pay rise she was owed, as well as another article to write, even if she had to write it under a different name, she knew that it wasn't impossible, as they were looking for more writers anyway.

Grunting at her silence Paul left the kitchen.

She wandered if he felt her pain like she felt his.

Watching him walk away she wondered if he even meant it when he said he was going to stay.

Before Bella could contemplate anything, she felt hot arms wrap around her waist, embracing her eldest Bella tried to comfort him.

Feeling his distress, she ran her hands through his hair trying to calm him down.

"shh baby its ok" she whispered as she tried to calm Jason down "its going to be ok"

She felt him sniff up snot as he whispered "I look like him"

Her heart clenched as she gripped him tighter, was that why Paul wanted to stay around because he finally realised that his eldest was in fact his son, clutching her son tighter she pushed that thought away whispering "I know, but its ok, baby, its ok" she wanted to add that he was nothing like his father when the object of the conversation walked into the room, with the other wolves.

Feeling anger towards Paul was nothing new, but when he stare at her son like he was seeing him for the first time made her motherly instincts kick in.

Scowling at Paul she dragged her son over to the table placing him down for the standard welcome to the Pack speech.

As she tucked her eldest in later that night Bella couldn't help but feel, like for once something was going the right way for once, her baby needed her and he let it be known.

Her son defiantly wasn't his father, walking back into the kitchen she looked at Paul and then Sam before asking "what?"

Sam cleared his throat as he stated "you might want to watch the other boys for signs of phasing"

Bella nodded "I doubt the twins will phase, there not as angry as Jason was"

Paul flinched slightly at her words.

"Jacob wasn't angry neither was Embry" Paul reminded

Shaking her head Bella tried to explain the feeling she felt that she know that her twins weren't going to phase "I know Sam the twins wont" tapping her chest she looked up the hall towards there bedroom door "I have this feeling, that I know that that not all my children will phase" shaking her head "it wont be the twins, I know it"

Sam frowned "Emily said the same thing, that she know that two of her children will phase, and it won't be Samantha, I wonder if all the mother's felt that"

"Sue said she did once" Bella whispered as she remembered her brave step mother, that had died to protect her grand babies from a vampire.

Sam frowned "do you get the feeling that it will be Harley an Adam that phase"

Bella bit her lip her hands went to her stomach as she whispered "I don't know yet"

Clearing his throat Sam gestured to her stomach "that brings up the matter of you being pregnant again"

Her eyes snapped to Sam's as she snapped "the last time I checked it didn't matter to you if I was pregnant or not, me being pregnant doesn't affect you at all, nor the pack"

"It affects Paul" Sam stated

"it's nor his" Bella hissed, knowing what her husband was going to say she bet him to it, she didn't know why he denied her children but this one, this one he didn't get a chance to even touch this one.

She knew that this one was a little girl, and she would be dammed if she let him hurt her like he hurt her boys.

Sam sucked a breath through his teeth in shock as he stared at Bella

"You cheated on me?" Paul choked

Raising her chin she swore that he would no longer get to lord over her like he use to, he didn't get anything he wanted anymore.

Her babies were the only important thing to her.

"Yes" Bella stated "you always accused me of it so for once, I did what you always do" she hissed, feeling the lie choke off her air supply slightly

"I never cheated on you" Paul roared as he approached her slamming his hands either side of her at the wall she stood near. "You know I cant have sex with anyone else, bar you" turning to Sam he stated "get out Sam I need to talk to my wife"

"I wont be your wife for very much longer" Bella snapped "you can get out with your Alpha, and leave me and my boys alone" she screamed at Paul

She knew that Paul had to obey anything she wanted, even if it was the wrong thing against the imprint.

As she watched Sam and Paul leave her kitchen, she could hear Paul growling and snarling against her order.

His straining against it caused her breathing to shorten as she felt his pain and anger at her.

As soon as they left, Bella locked the door behind them, she knew that it wouldn't keep them out forever, but it would keep them out long enough for her to get over the fact that she had lied to her imprint.

Laughing lightly she placed her hand on her belly, over the barely there two month bump.

Closing her eyes she tried to push away the pain, that denying Paul caused her.

Wincing slightly as she wandered into her bedroom, she stripped and dressed in one of Paul's shirt, his smell calming the bound slightly.

It wasn't long before she felt the bed dip and her sons join her, making sure the twins were covered, she rolled over, there presence calming her slightly.

"Is the baby really not dad's"

Turning to face Harry and Charlie she shook her head "it's your dad's baby" she whispered as she looked at them "when parents are angry they say things that sometimes they don't mean"

"Its ok" Charlie whispered as he stared up at his mum "if you get us a new dad like Caitlyn's mummy did, we'll understand"

Hugging both her boys Bella stated "your father may be an arse but his still your dad, and as much as he may think other wise, he will always be your dad"

Charlie nodded before hugging his mum tighter "I hope it's another boy"

Harry snorted "Na ah I want a little sister"

Smiling at her twins Bella felt sleep tug at her subconscious

"We love you mum" Harry and Charlie whispered

"I know my boys" Bella whispered back as she scummed to sleep

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. **

**lily**


	5. Chapter 5 Paul

**So I decided to put up chapter 5 tonight as I am going away for a few days I will be back on Monday…. And will post the next few after that. This is written in Paul POV so you can get an understanding from his point. **

Chapter Five Paul

Paul felt the anger and betrayal pulse through him.

After everything she finally admits that the baby wasn't his.

His anger forced his wolf to surface, as he howled in pain at the thought of some other man touching his Bella, made him hurt, it made him hurt more then he cared to admit.

His wolf always called that they were his boys, just watching Bella around them made his wolf purr.

He knew that he was never home

And that he was an arse to her

But he couldn't stand the thought that the imprint, his precious Bella had actually cheated on him.

He knew he couldn't have children its why he venomously fought that the boys weren't his, not only was he not around enough, but he knew that physically he couldn't have kids, so they weren't his, they were someone else's.

He was ten when he was told he couldn't have kids, he didn't care but it wasn't until he caught Leah and Bella talking about babies that he realised his father had royally fucked with his life.

When he tried to cut off his balls as a kid, he never thought that the wolf genes would fix the damage that was done by that man.

It wasn't until he saw Jason phase that he realised he had been mistaken and his beautiful imprint had been wronged by him over and over again, he had missed all five of his boys growing up, he wasn't a father he was a monster.

A horrible monster that deserved exactly what he got for the way he treated his beautiful imprint.

But to hear her not only deny him, but wish to get there marriage null and void, made his wolf want to curl up and die.

His eldest son, hating him that much, made him feel like his own father as he watched him, playing scenes of him hurting Bella, her own best friend pleading with her to leave him made his wolf snarl.

Hearing a whimper Paul knew that Collin and Brady could feel his pain, trying to stop himself hurting only made his wolf lay down further in submission and want to end his life.

Which caused his pack brother's to howl in pain along with him

He would no longer get to feel his imprints silky skin, taste her sweet lips or secretly fix her car in the middle of the night, or the broken hand railing, shower fixture or even the creaky cupboards and doors.

_Paul_ Sam stated

Looking up Paul saw Sam stand over him, whining softly he closed his eyes as another wave of misery caught him off guard

_You need to move to the trees where you can't be seen_ Sam stated

_They hate me_ Paul whined my Bella hates me

_Do you wonder why?_ Sam asked

Paul whined

_You even had us convinced she had cheated on you, fuck Paul for thirteen years you denied your own children, I know you weren't treating Bella right but to hear that much hatred from your own son, you really must be an arsehole_ Sam stated

_I thought I couldn't have children_ Paul growled showing Sam a piece of his memory

A ten year old Paul sitting in the doctor's office, kicking his legs as he looked at the doctor then his mother

"Mrs Lahote I'm afraid I have some bad news" the doctor stated

"What sort of bad news?" she asked as she looked at a little version of Paul

"Your son will be infertile, due to the accident"

Sam whined lightly in response to that, he didn't know what he would do without Lachlan and Sammy

_Have you told Bella this, she always wanted kids_ Sam stated

_I tried, but she had her heart set on a baby, and then she fell pregnant with Jason, it didn't smell like me_ Paul argued

_A scent transfer, means you need to be around for that to_ happen Sam snapped

Paul shuffled slightly to his feet, standing he asked _what the hell do I do now, how do I fix this_

_I don't know_ Sam stated _does you wolf give indication to this baby being yours_

Paul found his wolf, his wolf whined a pitiful my pup, before curling up in on himself, wincing Paul nodded his massive head.

_Then so that we both don't get banished from the Reservation, I suggest you fix with your wife, but in the mean time I'd focus on your son, he seems a lot like you when you first phased all that pent up anger at your father forced it at sixteen, it forced his at thirteen_ Sam stated as he walked away

_His twelve_ Paul whined, crawling around the edge of the house he curled up under Bella's bedroom window, trying to stop some of the ache that was there, hearing three heart beats, then four then five he knew that the younger four boys had joined there mother in bed, peeking in the low level window, his wolf whined as he watched four little heads poke out of the bed, two on either side of the bed, she laid cocooned in the middle of the little boy pile.

Curling up upon himself, he tried to think when he hadn't been a big arsehole to his wife.

She always welcomed him into her home, for it was nothing like the little two bedroom shack he had left her in when he left the first time, his sweet Bella worked hard to supply for his boys, when she didn't expect anything from him in turn, he wondered when she had decided that financially he wouldn't be there for them.

When she had came to the conclusion that he didn't love her, he loved her with all that he had, but he couldn't handle the thought that she was cheating on him, that she didn't love him enough, to go to another man, and as more of her pregnancies come, he couldn't look at her happy face when he thought that they weren't his, he remembered sneaking into the bedroom, and feeling the twins more under his palms as they rolled together, he remembered holding Adam because his wife really needed the sleep, as soon as he had touched the boy he stopped crying, he always stopped crying when he touched Adam, cuddling the small child to his chest, he remembers breathing in deep the scent of the child filling his nostrils, with the unique way his and Bella's scents mixed together, he had knew that Adam was defiantly his, he couldn't shake that feeling that he had done something worthy by finally having a child with his mate, that he had left her to raise the child, knowing that he would let his jealousy at not being the first to rule how he treated her children.

But now he knew that his mate hadn't lied to him when she had always stated they were his.

Sighing he knew he had years to make up and he hoped that his mate can forgive him enough to let him fix this mess, that he had made through his own stupidity.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**Lily.**


	6. Chapter 6 Normal Mornings

**All mistakes are my own, I thought I would quickly post this before I left, hope you all enjoy and all post the next chapter Monday night Australian time when I get back.**

Chapter Six normal mornings.

Bella groaned as she looked at the red digits on the clock by the bed, sighing when she read 730 she knew that she had to get her boys up and get them ready for school.

Lying in between Harry and Adam she was thankful that she had brought the bigger bed.

Smiling slightly she couldn't help the feeling of sadness creep up on her as she watched them twitch and snore softly in there sleep.

Sitting up Bella gently shook the twins, then Harley and Adam

"Come on boys its time to get up you've got school"

At the mention of school, she received two grunts, a squeal and a sleepy look, laughing as Harley shouted school before rushing out of the bed.

Nudging Harry again, who in turn nudged Charlie she stated "if you don't get up, I won't let you take those blueberry muffins to school"

As soon as blueberry muffins were mentioned the twins jumped up and raced to the door, shoving each other as they went.

Shaking her head, she looked down at her youngest, seeing him staring at her she simply climbed out of the bed, walking around and grabbing his hand, she lead him down the hall and into his and Harley's bedroom.

Picking out Harley's clothes first, and sitting them on his bed, after persuading him not to wear his pyjamas to school, she helped Adam get dressed.

Kissing his little nose as she tied his shoes for him she headed towards the kitchen.

Poking her head in on the twins, to see Charlie diving under the bed, she rolled her eyes at the mess in there room, peeking in the bathroom, she saw Harry brushing his hair.

Opening Jason's room, she smiled as she saw him leaning across his bed, closing the door she continued on to the kitchen.

Grabbing the big fry pan out of the cupboard, she started to heat it, grabbing the bacon, eggs, mushroom and tomatoes out of the fridge she cooked four of her boys breakfast.

As all four were seated at the table, Bella brought over there breakfast and her coffee, watching them shovel food into there mouths she snorted slightly, they were exactly like there father that way.

She knew that soon all the food would be gone and she would have to fix her and Jason same more.

Looking at the time she grabbed her car keys and hassled them all out the door and into the car, she made sure all were buckled into there seats.

Ensuring that they all had the items they needed for that day at school, she started the car and drove them to Forks primary school.

Another thing that Bella couldn't believe Paul for was stuffing up there schooling, she couldn't even let her boys go to the school that taught them there heritage because they didn't have a Quileute parent on a birth certificate.

Gripping her steering wheel she tried to focus all of her attention on driving her van to the school, on the way back she could dwell on Paul and his consequences that he caused them.

Driving along the stretch of road, she listened to the twins talk about the up coming bonfire and how they were going to see if Sally a girl from there school could come to the bonfire with them this time, she was the grand daughter of the new chief of police in Forks.

Wincing slightly she thought of her father's illness it still caused her heart to hurt as she thought of the simple and quiet man that had raised her for the last few steps of her life.

He was the only family Bella truly had til she had her children, and then they become it for her.

"Are you going to see grandpa?" Charlie asked as he hopped out of the car

Bella smiled at him, brushing the hair out of his eyes, nudging him lightly through the seat she stated "not today baby, I got to get home your brother's pretty sick"

"ok" kissing his mother on the cheek he grabbed a hold of Adam's hand, after he kissed his mother "I'll make sure Adam and Harley get to there classrooms"

Bella smiled at Charlie "thank you Charlie"

Beaming at his mum he tugged on Adam's hand "come on Adam lets get you to class" grabbing Harley as he went to run past he stated "I promised mama so you gotta walk with me"

Her son's voice sounded so much like the Alpha wolf's voice as he ordered the pups out of his kitchen, shivering she was thankful to know that her twins wouldn't be phasing anytime soon.

Harry kissed Bella on the cheek breaking her from her thoughts

"Don't forget mum, that I got band practice tonight" he called as he stepped out of the van closing the sliding door behind him.

"I love you" Bella shouted after them, rolling her eyes she throw her car into gear, she needed to get groceries before she talked to her editor or dealt with the La Push pack and Paul.

Pulling up to the grocery store in Forks, she sighed the rumours weren't as bad here as they were in La Push, she hated having to go to the grocery store there, for Mrs Aterea always clicked her tongue at her and gave her dirty looks.

When she was pregnant with Harley, Mrs Aterea wouldn't serve her at all, stating that she was a disgrace for soiling the protectors bloodline with her bastard children.

It had stung that Quil's mother believed Paul above her.

But like always Pack is pack and they only look after themselves

Even Jacob in the past few years wanted nothing to do with her, he was happy without her, as he had shouted at her that day when Jason was two, and the twins had just been born. He couldn't believe that she had cheated on Paul again, he thought it pretty low the first time but to do it again and get pregnant just made her a whore.

Whore was a word she knew well, everyone thought she was, she had lost a lot of friendships over Paul and his issues. The only one's who stuck by her were Sue, Charlie an Angela. Sue even defended Jason and the twins when a stray vampire pushed through the perimeter of La Push, she hid the boys in the flour cupboard, while the vampire drained her of her blood, and left her crippled body on the floor, the whole of La Push blamed her for Sue's death, she was thankful that her father didn't, and he ended up moving in with them for a few months in La Push while he dealt with the grief of losing his second wife.

When Paul visited through out the few months that Charlie stayed, her father questioned there relationship, and even going as far as buying them a weeks worth of groceries so that his daughter could pay some bills for the month.

Brushing at her tears Bella hopped out of the car, and entered the grocery store.

Walking around and grabbing everything that they needed for the week, followed by a few extra meat trays to stock up the freeze in winter, and ingredients to make preserved fruits, jams and sauces with some can goods.

Walking through the dairy section, she looked up to see Embry and Jared starring at her.

Ignoring them she proceeded to walk through the section, grabbing a block of soft cheese and a tub of yogurt she stopped to think if they had enough cream to make French potatoes for tea.

"Bella"

**Thanks for reading/reviewing.**

**lily**


	7. Chapter 7 Baby

**All mistakes are my own, this will be the last posted til Wednesday, as I am stuck in the middle of no where.**

Chapter Seven baby

Turning around Bella raised an eyebrow at Jared in question

"you can't really divorce Paul" he stated looking around to make sure they weren't heard, stepping closer he lower his voice "divorce is forbidden in our laws, you divorcing will not only get you kicked of the Res but also, Paul Sam, Emily and the kids, you could ruin a lot of lives acting selfish"

Selfish.

She had been called selfish many of times, a lot more then she thought possible, and now when the first time she was actually acting selfish she gets called it, made the anger bubble up inside her.

"Really?" Bella asked "so I'm to stay in a relationship where my partner comes home, doesn't even talk to my children, only talks to me when he needs the imprint fix, just so he doesn't get kicked off the res" pointing her finger at him Bella snapped "you know what I think Jared?" before he could answer Bella continued "I think you should continue to bury your head in the sand like you have done for the past thirteen years, you all knew how he treated me and my children but you just brushed it aside, will guess what, he isn't coming anywhere near them, he isn't coming near me and so help me I'll move them to Arizona once I've filed for divorce, because for a reservation that is all about family and lending a hand you guys are nothing but selfish, standard rising hicks that don't care about anyone else as long as it doesn't effect your precious pack" breathing deeply Bella felt a pinch in her lower stomach, wincing slightly she gripped it.

"Bella" Embry called as he approached them, his hands going out to steady her

Clutching her stomach Bella backed away from them, wincing again she snapped "Don't come near me" panting she continued "after all, isn't it what you all want me and my bastard children to stop polluting the Lahote name, with children that aren't Pauls"

Leaving the two Indians in the aisle she pushed her trolley to the check out. As she pulled through the check out the cramps eased, making her breath easier.

Paying the $145.98 for her groceries, she asked the bag boy to load them for her before pulling away from the store.

Deciding she had better make sure that the baby was ok, she pulled up at the hospital.

Walking into emergency she walked up the counter.

"Hello Bella" the nurse behind the desk called

Feeling the tears prick her eyes she whispered "I'm two months pregnancy, I've been getting cramps for the last hour can I please see Carlisle please"

The nurse behind the desk, pressed a button behind the desk, causing the door to Bella's left to swing open.

Walking through it Bella walked down the hallway, and into the room the nurse was indicating, laying on the bed Bella smiled slightly at the nurse.

"I'll send for Dr Cullen, Bella, you'll be fine"

Nodding Bella wondered not for the first time how her life would have ended up if she had accepted Edward and not Paul, no she know that she still would have preferred this life, with her children over an eternity with Edward.

"Hello Bella" Carlisle called from the doorway.

Smiling through her tears Bella stated "Hello Carlisle"

"Now Belinda says you have been having cramps, your two months along is that correct" at Bella's nod he continued "I'm going to take some bloods, and do an ultrasound" touching her lightly on the arm he stated "everything will be fine, Bella you have my word"

As Carlisle touched her Bella felt the cramps in her stomach increase, biting her lip she nodded her head.

She couldn't lose this baby, she had already lost one she knew that she couldn't handle it a second time; it would destroy what was left of her heart, she couldn't do it alone again.

She stared off into space as the nurse come in and took her bloods, and wheeled in the ultrasound machine for Carlisle to use.

"Bella" Carlisle called breaking her out of her thoughts "the blood test come back you were pregnant with no abnormalities, but your temperature was close to the werewolves, then it was to you humans"

"What does it mean?" Bella asked

"I'm not a hundred percent sure, all your other pregnancies have been normal human pregnancies, so maybe you are coming down with a stomach flu, I can ensure you that you are defiantly pregnant"

Bella nodded

"I'm just going to do an ultrasound, to double check" grabbing the cold gel, he lifted Bella's shirt before applying it, smoothing it around her belly he brought up the picture on the machine, Bella watched as Carlisle hummed and frowned at the screen.

"Carlisle, what is it?"

Spinning the scream to face her, Bella could literally see the foetus change in front of her; it went from human to something else.

"What's wrong with my baby?" Bella asked

"It's a dog foetus" Carlisle stated, as he moved closer to the screen

"My baby already has the gene, she's already a wolf"

Carlisle nodded slightly as he removed the wand from her belly, wiping off the gel, he asked her "have you been angry in the last few days"

"Today" Bella whispered as she cupped her belly "I yelled at Jared in the supermarket"

Carlisle leant back in his chair frowning at her, scribbling something into her file he stated "I would like for you to come back for weekly check ups, as far as I can tell the cramps are from the foetus shifting human to dog" grabbing a vitamin vial off the desk he read the back of it before handing it to Bella "from what I can tell your at least between 8 to 12 weeks, I'll try next week to get a better reading of your due date, make sure you stay as calm as you can and away from stressful situations, if you need anything at all even in the wee hours of the morning, you ring my mobile"

Smiling at him Bella, thanked him for taking care of her, clutching the vitamins in one hand and her handbag slung over her shoulder, she exited the hospital.

She know that as soon as she married a shape shifting warrior from La Push that the gene could and would be past to her children, she didn't expect that after having five sons to a shape shifter that her next child would be phasing before she even exited the womb.

Walking as steadily as she could she focused on her van, wiping occasionally at the tears that dripped down her face.

Reaching her van she unlocked it sliding into it, she tried to steady her breathing before driving off.

Looking into the forest, she tried to ignore the pair of eyes that followed her everywhere she went.

**Thanks for reading/reviewing**

**Lily.**


	8. Chapter 8 Jason

**Hi terribly sorry for the long wait, I had my aunt pass away, and I was involved in a car accident, that left me with a pretty nasty bump to the head. I promise the updates will be weekly if not every few days on this one, I will also be posting a Bella Jared story shortly as well. **

Chapter Eight Jason

Bella pulled up to the front of her house, grabbing a grocery bag from the boot she walked into her home, seeing her eldest sitting at the kitchen table, she dumped the grocery bag on the bench before turning to him.

"Can you bring the rest of the groceries in?" Bella asked as she felt the cramps ease further, rubbing at her belly, she smiled up at Jason.

"Sure mum" Jason called as he dumped her mixing bowl in the sink, frowning as she took in the empty box of cereal and the milk carton she added up a total in her head, of more things she would need to feed her hungry little boy.

She supposed without Paul around to feed she could give his portions to Jason, so the boy isn't as hungry as he normally is.

Shaking her head she started unloading the grocery bags she had brought in, as she turned to instruct her son to put the bags on the floor, he come in carrying the last of them, in one hand, dumping them on the bench next to his mother Jason stated "the milks soured, did you do some running around after you brought the groceries"

"I went to the hospital" Bella stated

Jason stopped putting the groceries away, he turned to his mother "for grandpa or for" he gestured to her stomach

"For the baby" Bella whispered

"What happened?" Jason asked, as he leant against the counter "is the baby going to be alright?"

"I was having cramps, so I went and seen Carlisle" Bella stated as she grabbed the flour, emptying it into its container

"Is something wrong?" Jason asked, ignoring the groceries in favour of going near his mother. "Mum" he called "did something happen?"

"Carlisle said everything is ok, I just need to stay calm, and away from stressful situations" Bella stated as she brushed the hair from her face. "I'm fine baby, just help me put away the groceries, then I'll go have a lay down"

Jason nodded, as he grabbed a bag of oranges and placed them in the fruit bowl.

As soon as the groceries were put away Jason lead his mother over to the couch, setting her down he grabbed her a cup of tea, making sure his mother was settled.

Smiling at Jason, Bella snuggled into the couch, sipping her hot cup of tea.

Listening to her son patter around in his bedroom, Bella smiled.

Over night her twelve year old looked close to sixteen, his height shot up and she knew by her mixing bowl being used that he was defiantly going to be hungry.

Placing her hand over her stomach, she wondered how this little one was going to be able to survive, if it kept shifting forms she wondered if her human womb could handle a wolf foetus.

Shivering slightly, she wondered if she could make the hike up to old Mrs Aterea's hut in the woods on her own, if she had any answers like she had the last time she had miscarriage.

Then she had been talking to Jacob, and he had taken her, now she had only her boys, and she wasn't about to let any of them near someone who associates with the pack on a daily bases.

The phone ringing brought her out of her thoughts, with a groan she answered the phone.

"Hello"

Hearing the voice of Sam made her roll her eyes "yes Sam what can I do for you?"

The noise in the background Sam's end quietened down as if they knew Bella had answered the phone "can you send Jason over with you, when you come over to help Emily with the food for tonight's bonfire."

Gritting her teeth Bella tried to not snap at Sam for the fact that like always she wasn't informed of the Pack's bonfires until that very day "well Sam I hate to inform you but I wont be attending to help Emily today, nor will any of my children be attending the bonfire"

"Bella" Sam started

"I'm not part of the pack" Bella snapped "and just because Jason has phased you have no right to tell him or me what to do, I may be an imprint but I'm not a marked one" breathing deeply she continued "and I won't let any of my children around people who attempt to rule other's lives" hanging up the phone Bella felt a small bit of pride in herself for finally standing up to Sam Uley

Feeling her stomach cramp again, Bella took a deep breathe as she tried to calm her nerves.

"Mum" Jason shouted as he rushed up to her, his form shaking lightly "are you alright?"

Nodding her head Bella stated "yeah, just another cramp" walking over to the couch Bella let Jason lead her, gently sitting down Bella stated "I'm fine Jas"

Jason frowned at her "what did uncle Sam want?"

"He wanted me to bring you to Emily's house when I go and help her prepare food for tonight's bonfire"

Jason frowned "and you told him no"

Bella's mouth twitched as she stated "something along those lines"

"We don't need to go to the bonfire tonight mum" Jason stated "we don't really enjoy them anyway"

Smiling at her son she stated "I was going to pull the mum card on you lot"

Jason laughed lightly "you've only pulled that the once, and it didn't even work then"

Smiling Bella shook her head "you are going to have to see your uncle Sam though, you need help with your phasing and how to control it all"

"Hey now" Jason said in mock offence "I'm good with my control, see I have gone all fuzzy in like twelve hours"

"it's a serious thing baby" Bella stated "I know you wont hurt me or any of your brother's but what if your father comes home, what if you get that angry at him and you cant control the wolf"

Jason nodded "so what I just go over there, and have to put up with them"

Bella glared at his attitude "no I want you to learn to control it, so you can go to school and leave La Push, have something of a future"

Frowning Jason know that his mother was right and that he would have to see Sam, nodding his consist that he heard his mother he walked away.

Sighing Bella wandered what she was going to do with everything that was happening around her. Deciding that she had better contact her editor, she rose from the couch and entered the kitchen, going over to the little cubby she had converted into a small office; she grabbed her mobile dialling her editor's number she waited for her to pick up the phone.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing.**

**Lily.**


	9. Chapter 9 The Packs Plan

**Here is chapter nine, hope you all enjoy it. I'll be gone for a fortnight to Melbourne to help my cousin settle a few things so I might only up date probably twice in that time if I'm lucky.**

Chapter Nine The Packs Plan

Jason sighed, it had taken him another day before he felt the urge to phase.

True to her word his mother wouldn't let them go to the bonfire, instead they had all lounged in her bed watching movies til late into the night, someone would bang on the door or ring the phone, every few minutes he even heard his uncle Sam shout through the door, ordering him to attend.

He knew that his mother had done something when she had simply stated "Jason sit back in that chair"

Now he was walking down the road, towards his uncle Sam's house to learn how to control his wolf.

His mother had looked at him before nodding her head letting him exit the house at 4am, whilst his brothers slept.

Stepping up to his Uncle Sam's house he could hear a lot of voices, cringing slightly as he heard his father's voice and his uncle Jacob's he wandered once again how his mother could handle them.

Why his mother was at home trying to figure out how to leave without her precious imprint, they all partied, he couldn't wait for them to get what they deserved.

Feeling anger bubble up his spine, he threw off his t-shirt and then quickly, stripped his shorts and shoes the last thing he needed was his mother angry at him for shredding his clothes like last time he phased, she didn't yell at him, but he knew they didn't have the money to be used up on clothes every time he got angry at something, which at the minute wasn't that much.

Thinking of his so called uncles he shouted as the wolf took over, the fire burning through his limbs was a new sensation he hoped he got use to eventually.

Phasing in his uncle's backyard he took off for the tree line, as soon as he hit it, he turned around and waited for someone to came out of the house.

He didn't need to wait long before Jacob come out to investigate the noise.

Phasing his uncle Jacob took a mental breath, his thoughts revolving around his mother and how the pregnancy should be his not Paul's, he could smell already that its Paul's and he agreed with Jared, that something had to be done about the other children. He thought Bella was a wonderful mother, but she didn't know how to handle a litter of pups, and she was going to literally have them when they all turn of age to phase, the Elders agreed that if she was to start the divorcing cycle with Paul that the tribe will remove them, on the fact that half breed Quileute's were to stay with there full blooded parent, he thought that to protect there secret it needed to be done He thought it was pathetic that she didn't come to her own sons welcome to the pack bonfire, hell Jason didn't even come to his own bonfire.

Jason, he himself was another thought on his uncle's mind, the boy was to young to have phased, and he wasn't entirely sure that it was a good thing he phased, he wondered if it meant that all children from this pack would phase, making him think of his own three year old son, whether he was going to phase when he reached the right age.

Trying to stay as silent as he could, Jason realised that he needed to talk to his mother, noticing a pair of shorts beside him he looked across to see his uncle Embry there.

Phasing human he snatched them up forcing his legs into them.

"we don't all think like Jacob" Embry stated "and what you must understand is that Paul loves your mother, and he had a reason to believe you weren't all his"

"he left" Jason stated "he hurts mum, she nearly lost this baby because of them" he gestured to the house.

"is she ok?" Embry asked "did she go to the hospital?"

Jason nodded "she said she did"

Looking up past the trees Embry asked "did you want to pretend we didn't have this conversation and go home?"

Jason rubbed the back of his neck "what are you all doing here anyway?"

"Emily gave birth, to another son"

The sadness at not being accepted again, tore at his heart a little, he knew that they would find out tomorrow as they always did "I'll head home and leave you to your family"

Embry grabbed his arm, spinning him to face him "you are family Jason, that's why I'm telling you to tell your mother to ask the Cullen's to wave there magic fingers before she loses her boys" looking back at the house, Embry continued "your father doesn't agree with what Sam thinks, but his in to much grief over being rejected by his imprint to do anything, you need to make sure that your mum fixes that, I'll try and pass what Sam's planning to you guys." Pushing Jason away and towards his house he stated "tell Bells that me, Seth and Leah still think her as family, if she needs anything we will do what we can to get around the Alpha Orders"

Nodding Jason took off through the trees, skirting around his uncle's house, he saw a massive grey wolf, watch him with unblinking eyes as he rushed home.

Sliding slightly in the damp grass, he stomped up the back steps, throwing open the door he shouted for his mother.

"Jason" Bella hissed, eyeing him "what happened? Where are your clothes?"

"Mum" Jason started, turning around he shut the door and locked it "they want to take us away from you"

Bella draw in a sharp breath as she surveyed her son "the pack?"

Jason nodded "I heard Jacob thinking it, then Embry told me, he said that you gotta get the Cullen's to use there magic to fix it"

Bella nodded, guiding her son, to the lounge room, she moved the coffee table out of the way, she knew by experience that a wolf can phase in this room in the house.

"If you need to phase, baby its ok, this room can handle it" Bella stated as she ran off to get her phone, picking up her mobile.

Trying not to phase, Jason sat on the couch his head in his hands he couldn't hurt his mother, she was his world and he couldn't let the wolf out.

Breathing deeply he vowed that Paul Lahote was the only grey wolf that was ever going to hurt her.

**Hope you enjoyed reading/reviewing.**

**lily**


	10. Chapter 10 Dealing

**For some reason I cant reply to reviews on this stupid tablet I'm borrowing, so I promise I have read all of them and have taken the input to heart, and suggestions, thank you all for the wonderful reviews, and as soon as I get my laptop back, I'll reply to reviews.**

**Here it is chapter Ten…. And a little Paul and Bella action ….. though you all probably hate him as much as I do with this Paul I've written. **

**Lily. **

Chapter Ten Dealing

Bella rubbed her eyes tiredly as she poured herself a cup of tea, she was in for a very late night, or early morning as she looked at it.

She had just sent her eldest off to be with a pack of wolves.

Stirring her cup of tea, she bite her lip, looking through the emails her editor had sent her.

She could earn what she needed writing under two different names.

She would write a column under her name Bella Lahote that dealt with motherly issues that her readers write into her about and another under Charlie Swan that dealt with romance problems.

Rubbing at her eyes she raised from her chair, she had a horrible craving for pickles and ice cream.

Grabbing a jar of pickles she swiped it through the ice cream before popping it into her mouth, chewing it she savoured the taste of the pickle.

Hearing an awful bang followed by pounding feet Bella dropped the pickle jar and raced down the hallway seeing her son, she felt fear and panic grip her heart, watching his half naked form heave she couldn't control her fear that something had happened to the pack, something had happened to Paul "Jason" she hissed "what happened? Where are your clothes?"

"Mum" Jason started, turning around he shut the door and locked it "they want to take us away from you"

She wasn't sure what had hurt her more, the fact that someone wanted her babies or that her so called family were going to take them.

Bella draw in a sharp breath as she surveyed her son "the pack?"

Jason nodded "I heard Jacob thinking it, and then Embry told me, he said that you gotta get the Cullen's to use there magic to fix it"

She felt her heart hurt, did they think that low of her, she wasn't actually going to divorce Paul, in fact she was going to leave there marriage intact so that her boys could grow up on the Res, they mightn't attend the Res high school, but they still lived there, there family was still here.

Bella nodded, trying to push her fear away, guiding her son, to the lounge room, she moved the coffee table out of the way, she know by experience that a wolf can phase in this room in the house, it was big enough for Paul, so she know it was big enough for her small son

"if you need to phase, baby its ok, this room can handle it" Bella stated as she ran off to get her phone, picking up her mobile, she tried to stop her shaking as she turned on the radio, just in case some wolves were listening to her movements in the house.

Dialing Carlisle's number Bella waited patiently as it started to ring, she knew that as soon as this was finished she'd spend most of the night cry.

Her babies were all she had left, and nobody was taking them.

"Bella" Alice answered Carlisle's phone "why can I see your future? Normally it's all patchy"

Snorting slightly Bella stated "I need your help" walking into the door way she could see her eldest sitting on the couch his head in his hands.

"Anything" Alice breathed

"I need for my children to be legally all mine, Paul's trying to take them" she felt a sob build up "I can't lose my babies, there all I have"

"its ok Bella, Jasper and Carlisle are going to fix this, we will make sure that no Quileute can touch your children, you hear me Bella they aren't leaving you"

Bella nodded "thank you Alice, give the family my love"

"You squeeze those boys extra hard, from me and Rose"

Bella nodded "ok Alice"

"We love you Bella" Alice stated "we'll talk soon; I'll even have divorce papers drawn up, just act like nothing has happened"

Before Bella could say anything, Alice had hung up on her.

Sighing Bella turned the radio off, leaning against the sink, she looked out the window, she tried to stop her heart from pounding as she watched a figure in the trees, frowning as she saw Sam Jacob and Paul walk out of the trees, she wandered what they were doing here.

"Go to bed Jason" Bella stated, watching her son rise from the couch and head to his room.

Breathing deeply, Bella raised her chin walking out of her kitchen into the hallway, grabbing the panic button that Charlie had given her in case anything was wrong when she was out here on her own with her children, so that the police department was alerted to her whereabouts opening the door, making sure she closed it behind her, she went to meet them.

Standing on her porch she asked "and what do I owe this pleasure?"

Sam cleared his throat "we thought you should know that I have another son"

"At 4 in the morning?" Bella asked

"Yeah" Sam stated "after all your pack we thought you should be there celebrating with us"

"The boys are all asleep, as it is 4 in the morning" Bella stated coolly, she had a father for a cop, so she knew how and when to say something.

"Bella" Paul called

She hadn't looked at him, instead choosing to look at his two brothers, ignoring him she stared at Jacob.

"I wasn't even aware some of you knew where I lived, all thought sharing a mind might make it easier to see me." She snipped, making sure that Jacob looked up and into her face.

"Baby" Paul whined, his hand reaching out to touch her.

Slapping his hand away from her, she grimaced as she felt Paul's hurt the sharp burning pain in her soul. "You don't get to touch me; last I checked you want nothing to do with my boys, so you have nothing to do with me"

"There mine to" Paul whimpered as he looked at her, his eyes brimmed with tears.

Looking at him Bella noticed that Paul looked like crap; it had been three days since she had kicked him out, three days and he looked like he hadn't slept in a month.

Karma she thought he deserved this for the years he put her through

"No there not" She snapped "you said so yourself, many times that they weren't yours"

"Please Bella" Paul whined as he reached for her again "I love you"

Hearing those words made her heart hurt, of course he was going to say them, looking back to the house, she could see the twins looking out the window of the lounge room, she needed to be strong for her boys, if Paul wanted back in he had to earn it.

"Love isn't enough anymore" Bella stated, breathing in she felt a horrible tug in her stomach wincing she tried to stop the pain.

She knew now that the foetus was changing to its wolf form inside her, that every horrible pain, was it shifting, she wondered if it was tearing her up inside.

"Bella" Paul murmured, coming across to grab her "are you alright? Is the baby alright?"

Just feeling him wrap his arms around her caused the pain to ease that was gripping her heart, and her body to shiver in pleasure, but much to her dislike her head went light headed and she clutched him.

"I need to get her to the hospital"

Bella shook her head "Carlisle looks after all my pregnancies" she stated, trying to step out of Paul's arms she stated "I'm fine, I just feel a little light headed" pushing him away from her she stepped out of his arms "I'm meant to be resting" trying to steady herself, she braced her arm on the wall beside her.

Sam looked at Bella with something akin to concern, biting her lip she felt like shouting at him that it was none of his business, and to leave her the hell alone, instead she walked towards the house, she didn't get very far before she felt Paul pull on her wrist.

"please Bella, I" Paul sighed his eyes watering "please, will you let me know what's going on, I love you, and I want to make up for the years I was an arse"

Letting him pull her to him she stated "there is a lot of things you need to make up for" hugging him to her she whispered "but were not seventeen anymore, and you not only hurt me, but you hurt the boys, and when they needed there family, they weren't there because there so called family thought there mother was a whore, who found a way around the imprint" feeling the tears prick her eyes she whispered "I cant let you back in Paul, you've hurt me to much" squeezing him to her, she breathed in his scent.

She had to put her boys first.

Pulling away she felt the effects of the imprint try and pull her back towards Paul, walking up the remaining steps Bella opened the door and latched it behind her, sliding down it she gave her twins a watery smile, before hugging them to her.

**So….. how's that?**

**I'm really loving this Bella and her brand new back bone**

**Lily. **


	11. Chapter 11 Baby Troubles

**There maybe some sensitive topics in this chapter, so I'll leave a summery at the bottom of this chapter for those who find abortion, and miscarriage a painful topic. All mistakes are my own as I don't have a beta.**

Chapter eleven Baby troubles

Bella drummed her fingers on the bed as she looked over at Carlisle, bending her head slightly she tried to see what had him frowning at the test results, wondering if it was anything good.

Giving up Bella looked around at the make shift medical room that had been set up at the Cullen's house.

She wasn't sure if it was the effects of the imprint, but she felt like she was always on edge, waiting for something to jump out at her at the Cullen's house, shaking her head she knew she was being silly.

She saw Alice once a month, Rosaline sees her nearly once a week sometimes more, it depended where her an Emmett were staying at the time.

Her kids called them aunt an uncle, and grandma and grandpa.

She even emailed Edward.

It wasn't the Cullen's that made her tingle, it was the fact that they all live here together at least twice a year sometimes more, a group of vampires in the area meant her boys would phase and her imprint felt they were a threat.

She supposed she could blame Paul for her uneasy feeling around her closest friends as well.

Giving up on looking out the window Bella asked "good or bad news?"

Carlisle hummed before turning to look at her "bad news"

Placing her hands over her stomach Bella asked "is the baby alright?"

"The baby's fine Bella" Carlisle reassured

"Then what is it?" Bella asked, feeling the horrible dread feeling fill her stomach made her heart thump and her throat feel like it was closing over.

Handing her an ultrasound Carlisle pointed to the uterus wall "Bella, the baby every time it phases to wolf, its ripping your lining, if it gets any bigger it could rip straight through your uterus and into your stomach" clearing his throat he took in the pale sight of Bella before continuing "not only that, its using up twice as much nutrition from you"

Staring at him Bella stated "ok"

Sighing Carlisle laid out his plan of action "I believe the best insurance that you will come through this alright is that you should terminate the pregnancy"

Bella clutched her belly protectively; she couldn't go through losing another baby, not after the last one, she herself nearly died after she miscarriage the last time "no" she stated "I wont kill my own baby."

"Bella you need to look at the facts, you nearly died giving birth to Adam, you were told you couldn't conceive another child if you did it wouldn't go to full term and could kill you in the process, on top of that there is the fact that you can't give birth to this child in a hospital, what if it comes out shifting, it would ruin the secret, then you'll never get to see your boys again"

Bella felt her heart break, at Carlisle's suggestion, even the wolf gods were saying she was a horrible mother and that she shouldn't have children, feeling the tears burn her eyes Bella begged "how about I have the baby here, you're a trained doctor, you have all the equipment" grabbing his cold hand in her warm one she begged "please Carlisle, I want this baby, I cant get rid of it"

Carlisle frowned slightly as he looked at Bella

"And your well and truly over your blood lust, you have been for years now"

Carlisle sighed "I want weekly appointments"

Bella nodded her head in approval

Grabbing his script book he started to write out a script "I'm giving you a higher dose of vitamins, you'll have to take a higher dose of folate, and I'm going to give you a mild calmer, that's safe to use for when you're around the pack, it should calm the foetus enough to not shift"

Bella nodded, grabbing the scripts, a picture of the ultrasound and her hand bag she stated "same time next week"

At Carlisle nodded, Bella hugged him goodbye before leaving his home office.

Walking out the front door and towards her car, it wasn't until she was at her car, that she noticed the huge wolf man leaning on it.

Glaring slightly at Jared she snapped "and what do I owe this pleasure"

Jared stared at her before stating "I have come to fetch you for a council meeting"

"well" Bella stated with a click of her tongue "I was told I wasn't allowed to be in a stressful situation" walking around him she opened up the car door, placing her handbag and scripts on the seat she climbed in, locking the door behind her so that he couldn't grab her

Narrowing his eyes Jared snapped "you're killing Paul, by rejecting the imprint"

Her hands froze slightly as they went to turn the key in the ignition, starring up at him, she swallowed slightly as she looked at him, feeling a twinge in her stomach she turned the ignition and floored her car.

Shotting out of the driveway and on to the road, she turned towards Forks.

Stopping at the chemist, she giggled lightly as she walked in and picked up the prescription.

Grabbing the pills, she headed back to her car.

She wasn't going to go anywhere near La Push until it was time to head home with her boys.

Deciding that she had better visit her father's house in Forks, and clean up some of the dust bunnies she started the engine.

It wasn't like he was going to be using it anytime soon, but just the thought of cleaning had her a bit happier.

Pulling up into the old drive way, she could see the oil spot that the cruiser use to leave as it pulled up in its spot.

Sighing she exited the car, walking up the walkway she tried to picture the house when it was full of Charlie, happy bright quiet Charlie.

Before she could even open the door it was pulled open on her, looking up she didn't have time to comment before she was shoved out of the driver's seat into the passenger and the engine was started, making her bang her head lightly on the door as the car took off.

Blinking away spots Bella turned to glare at the person in the driver seat.

**Don't shot me, I promise it will get better for Bella.**

**Quick summary: Bella's foetus is changing to quickly, it could rip through her uterus and kill her, Carlisle has decided to help her have her baby at his house in Forks. At the end of the chapter Jared asked Bella to attend a pack meeting, she said no, so she's just be grabbed by force.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing**

**Lily.**


	12. Chapter 12 Council

**Here is Twelve, all mistakes are my own, hope you all enjoy reading this one.**

Chapter twelve Council

"What the hell" Bella demanded as she glared at Jared

The smug bastard in question glanced at her for a second before stating "you need to stop being childish, Paul is dying because of you"

"Yeah well I'm all clawed up on the inside because of him" Bella snapped

Jared gripped her steering wheel tight as he pushed his foot to the floor; her car slid slightly in the wet "you don't get it, do you?"

Feeling it was a rhetorical question Bella sat back in her chair, reaching for the seatbelt and putting it on

"Because you threatened divorce, we all need to go up in front of the council, its not only Sam and Emily that could get kicked out now, Billy is calling an unfair justice meeting"

She didn't know what it meant, and she wasn't about to bother asking Jared instead she turned to look out the window

"Paul has stayed a wolf, since you spoke to him last week, he wont eat and every time we phase it's a Bella marathon in his head, not to mention the fact that your son hasn't ran a patrol yet, and he will need to be punished for disobeying his Alpha, do you know what that means Bella?"

Of course she knew what it meant, she just thought that her son was exempt from it, due to him phasing so young. Placing her hand on her stomach, she wondered if this one would be made to run patrols to.

Her son phased into a wolf, he phased nearly every day, but he did it at night so his brothers didn't see and normally when she sat out on the back porch with a cup of tea.

He had even returned to school this week, at his mother's request, but he was attending school, which is a huge thing in its own right.

Jason hated school.

"So not only is your selfishness killing your imprint, your son has to get punished, and you'll get us all kicked off the Reservation, our family names banned for centauries"

"And how is it my fault?" Bella asked

"Because you couldn't just shut up and spread your legs, your fighting the imprint instead of doing what Paul asked" Jared snarled "you don't see any other imprint deny there wolf"

"maybe because there wolf hasn't been an arse for thirteen years, I stuck by him but now you can all grew the fuck up, because I wont get back with Paul, until he has changed, he sure as hell isn't the man I married, so why the hell should I be in an abusive neglectful relationship, if it gets me no where." Breathing heavy she felt her stomach pinch, gripping fistfuls of her shirt, she breathed in "you can all go to hell, why should I help you when you weren't there to help me over the years" finishing her tirade Bella turned to look out the window, watching the trees go past she tried to imagine what would happen once they reached the community centre.

As soon as the old wooden building come into view, Bella wandered if she could make a run for it, shaking her head at her stupidity, she was a thirty year old woman, she wasn't about to run away like a teenager.

Waiting until Jared had exited the car, Bella felt like sitting there til he dragged her out.

Folding her arms over her chest, she smirked at him as he waited in front of the car for her.

Narrowing his eyes, Jared reached around and grabbed her, throwing open her car door, he gripped her arm tightly as he hauled her into the building, only pausing to shut her door, and open the glass doors in the meeting hall.

Dragging her down the corridor and into the big circular meeting room, she was thrown into a chair.

Glaring up at the pack that stood off to the side, she noticed the only ones not there were Paul Leah an Embry.

Looking across she glared at Jared. She wouldn't forget the way they got her here.

She thought as adults they would know more manners, but she supposed they were all wolves.

Even in human form, it took one wrong grab and they could leave bruises for weeks, even break bones or scar faces.

Looking to the front of the hall, she could see Billy Black, Harry White, Quil Senior, and Domanic Uley.

She knew none of them liked her, she was the paleface to them, that breed half breeds.

She was sure that, if it wasn't for Charlie Billy most likely wouldn't even speak to her, let alone let her live on his Reservation

She had only seen him in passing, when he was out visiting her father, but other then that they tended to stick to there own sides of the reservation.

She wondered if he believed that her children were Jacobs, or did he believe that they were Paul's all along, and didn't say anything, thinking that the Pack would be able to determine whether or not they were actually Paul's.

She still remembered the argument with Jacob in her front yard when he had stated that Bella wasn't to go to Billy's for lessons in tribal law anymore, he stated that he didn't want to have a disgraceful whore in his home.

Shaking her head she zoned back into the council room, looking at the Elders she tried not to scowl at them.

As the door banged open, Bella turned to see a dishevelled, dirt covered and thin Paul walk into the room, she felt pity and concern for her husband, she knew that if she didn't turn around she would usher him back to the house, bath, feed and water him.

Probably disgracing herself in the process, she always had a soft spot for mistreated animals.

Paul was no excuse in that area.

Looking out of the corner of her eye, she saw Paul sniff at the air and turn to step closer to her, it took a newly arrived Embry, Quil, and Jared to pull him down into the allocated chairs for him to sit in.

"Isabella Lahote, Imprint to Paul Lahote you are brought forth in front of the tribal council, on the discussion of you rejecting your imprint, how do you plea"

Bella looked up at the council "I don't plea to anything"

Old Quil sucked in his breath before stating "you have forced your mate out of your home, claiming the child you carry isn't his, your other 5 children with your mate do not see him, as he has not gone near them in three weeks, your oldest has phased but yet you refuse to allow him to continue to phase, to help protect the tribe"

"If its wrong for a mother to put her children first, then I guess its Guilty then" Bella stated, brushing lint from her sleeve.

"You speak of divorce Imprint paleface" Harry White stated.

Bella nodded, she knew that the council just wanted to know what was going on but she also knew that they didn't need to ask her stupid questions, and that they shouldn't pry into her personal life when it didn't concern them.

"You are aware that once mated, leaving your wolf would kill you both" Old Quil stated

"I'm not marked" Bella snapped "or did you forget that, that you wouldn't let Paul bite me, because even though I'm an imprint, I'm still a paleface" looking across at Paul she continued "and maybe its about time that Paul felt the pain, I've been feeling every time his gone for to long, or did you Elder forget that the pain is worse in the imprintee rather then the wolf, did you forget that he had disappeared for months on end over the years, and I have had to deal with the pain, as well as raise children"

Paul whimpered slightly, Bella heard a struggle, looking over she saw Jared and Sam holding Paul back his body quivering in the need to phase.

The council sat in silence for a minute before Billy spoke "Divorce means you will have to leave the Reservation, even though your children are half blooded, you are not"

Bella felt a slap to the face, she knew that they would play that card, they would dangle her children in front of her like a present for staying with Paul.

It was like they were saying here have your children for staying in an abusive relationship, that the love you felt for someone wasn't returned, and you were only ever touched to satisfy a mating urge that was installed years ago.

Rising from her seat Bella stated "then I better start looking for a house outside of the Reservation for me and my children"

"your children will be staying with the full blooded adult" Old Quil stated "as is tribal law, as they will attend the tribal school, and fulfil there duty to the tribe"

Bella smirked as she stated "that can only work, if a full blooded parent was on the birth certificate, and seeing as how Paul never bothered to turn up I'll start looking for a house for me and my children" Bella stated as she turned around and headed towards the door.

"You will be banished, as will the Alpha pair, your children and your husband"

Whirling around Bella snapped "I couldn't give a fuck about the pack, they haven't done shit for me over the years, as for my children being banished that's brilliant then when they phase they wont have to follow your pathetic little rules" throwing open the door, Bella tried to remain calm, feeling her foetus shift she groaned of course that was going to happen.

Placing a hand on her stomach, Bella walked out of the door, slamming it behind her she walked towards her van, hoping in it she reached to start it.

Cursing when she found no keys, she wasn't about to go back in there, instead she grabbed her pills, her handbag and Adam's woggy before getting out of the car and walking towards her home.

Walking the fifteen minutes to her little house in the far side of La Push she walking up the front steps, she was glad for once that it wasn't raining.

Opening up the door with the spare key, she entered the house locking the door behind her she placed her bags on the counter, kicking off her shoes, and throwing her jumper over the chair.

Picking up her phone she rang Angela.

"Hello"

"Hey Ang, its Bella"

"Hi Bella"

"Can I ask you a favour Ang"

"Sure ask away"

"Can I get you to pick up the kids for me, my car isn't here"

There was a pause before Angela stated "sure, I can do that for you, they finish at 3:30 don't they"

Breathing a sigh of relief Bella nodded "yes, they do, thank you so much Angela, you're a life saver"

Angela laughed lightly "I'd do anything for you Bells you know that"

"Thanks again anyway" looking at the clock reading 3:15 she stated "I'll pop the kettle on"

"See you soon" Angela stated as she hung up the phone

Smiling Bella walked across and unlocked the door, so that the kids could just walk in when they finished.

Feeling rather then seeing the door open, Bella turned around just in time to be pushed into the wall.

**I know another cliffy.**

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing**

**lily**


	13. Chapter 13 Damm

**All mistakes are my own, hope you enjoy this one. I'll try and post the rest of the story within the month, or if I get a time within the next fortnight, I am looking for a new beta to beta all my twilight stories, I tried using the beta side of this site but half of them don't allow pm's and some in there description seem a bit rude, no offence to anyone intended...so if anyone would love to be my beta i would be really grateful. **

**Thanks lily.**

Chapter Thirteen Damn

Bella gasped for breath as the hot body, in front of her, pushed her further into the wall, its head was buried in her neck as one hand was buried in her hair the other gripped her hip painfully.

"You can't leave" the voice croaked "I can't live without you" he muttered as he ran his nose along her jaw.

Trying to keep her breathing even, Bella knew that this was the wolf, she knew if she was facing the other way that his eyes would be rimmed in gold.

"My mate" he croaked, as he licked her neck "all mine no one else's." pushing his growing erection into Bella, made her mind snap open.

Trying to struggle Bella called "Paul, what are you doing, you don't want to hurt me, let me go" trying to turn she couldn't force him to let her go.

As his teeth bite her flesh Bella's eyes opened in panic, he couldn't bite her, he couldn't mark her like this whilst she was pregnant it could kill there child, she remembered reading it in the legends, that marking was a sexual thing, biting someone without doing the dead can kill the imprintee and the wolf if they didn't go insane from a half completed bond.

"Paul our baby" Bella screamed "you'll kill her, if you just bite me"

"You'll leave" Paul whined, going back to licking her neck

"Please Paul, please" Bella sobbed now "I can't lose another baby, not like this, please, please Paul" going limp in his arms, Bella sobbed as she thought of losing her baby.

Paul stopped licking her neck, going to just nuzzling it "we will do this properly then, just you and me, so you can never leave me"

As Paul started to lift her shirt Bella hissed "the boys will be home shortly"

Grinding his erection into her Paul growled lightly "my pups"

"Yes" Bella sniffled "yes, your pups, they can't see this, it will hurt them"

Paul grinded his erection against her again "you'll leave"

Bella shook her head "if you just wait til the boys go to bed, we can talk please Paul"

Paul's chest rumbled as he looked at Bella, his yellow rimmed eyes glaring down at her, the silent promise showing in his eyes that if she disobeyed she would pay for it later "ok" the wolf conceded, as he slammed his lips on to hers, his hands coming up to cup her tiny baby belly, his heat instantly warming her belly inside and out, the wolf inside her calmed instantly under his touch.

Kissing him back, Bella felt her mind slip away as she battled for dominance with Paul; his tongue coaxing hers as he fisted a handful of her hair, pulling away Paul murmured "I will return"

Nodding lightly, Bella vaguely wandered if she could lock the door, but she knew that he would just break it down, this wasn't the human Paul, this was the wolf, and if he wanted his mate, he gets his mate, no matter what.

Breathing deeply, Bella straightened her clothes, and brushed her hair out of her face, she had to be able to do this.

She would send the boys away with Angela and then her and Paul can talk, but she wouldn't bring up the word divorce once in the conversation, she knew that she would eventually have to let him in, but he needed to make it up with her boys before anything else happened between them. She could always be his friend instead of his lover and wife, but she didn't know if she was strong enough to see if that would work.

He needed to want to fix his issues with their kids before anything happened between them friendship or otherwise.

Gathering herself some more, Bella put the kettle on grabbing two cups she placed tea bags in both, she knew that whatever was going to happen was going to effect everyone, not just her and Paul.

She just wasn't sure she was ready for it, as ready as she could be anyway.

The door being thrown open alerted her to her boy's presences.

Smiling she asked "how was your day?"

Receiving a grunt from Jason, Bella smiled slightly "that bad"

Jason grunted again, kissing her on the cheek before heading towards his room.

"Mum mum" come the excited squeal of her five year old

Smiling down at Adam she waited for him to tell her his new story.

As a piece of paper was thrust into her hands, glitter falling off of it as Bella looked at it, she smiled lightly at the stick figures that were hastily drawn on the paper and sprinkled with glitter.

"I made a picture for the fridge, it's of you daddy, Harley, Harry, Charlie and Jason"

"Wow baby it's beautiful" Bella commented as she walked over and placed the picture on the fridge.

"I so had it"

"You so did not"

"I was like this"

"Harry Charlie" Bella called as she turned to watch her twins bicker at each other.

Charlie kissed her cheek before rushing off to there bedroom, there bags dumped in the hallway on the way.

Rolling her eyes Bella stated "come get your bags boys"

Turning around Bella smiled at Harley and Angela as she watched them walk up the gravel path.

"Hi mum" Harley muttered as he breezed past her into the house.

Frowning at the miserable look on her normally bright and happy child's face Bella turned an inquiring look to Angela.

"Some boy was picking on him about you divorcing Paul, something about being a bastard, homeless, poor and abandoned"

Bella frowned at that "how the hell did they find out about me leaving Paul?"

Angela shrugged "don't ask me, I was just as surprised as you were" slumping into Bella's chair, she ran a hand through her hair "so what happened today?"

Bella sighed "I had a run in with the council"

Angela frowned lightly "what happened?"

"I'll be moving the boys into Charlie's for now, I have to talk to Paul about a few things tonight but then we will be moving"

"I can watch the boys" Angela insisted "with Ben away I kind of get a bit lonely, I can watch them in Charlie's old house if you want"

"Thanks Ang" Bella stated, rising from the table her and Angela helped the boys pack there bags.

They packed enough clothes for a week, Bella made sure that the younger ones had the toys they needed, harry had his guitar and Charlie had his football, ensuring that some of the new groceries that she had brought that day went with them she kissed her boys goodbye and sent them with Angela, waving at them, she felt tears burn her eyes.

She didn't like the feeling that she was losing her boys.

Even if it was just for one night.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing, just so you all know Bella is not going ot take back Paul, in my mind I don't think she should, but in the next four chapters their still not together, so you can all rest easy that she wont jump straight back into an abusive relationship. **

**Lily.**


	14. Chapter 14 Kitchen table

**Still cant find a Beta, if anyone is interested let me know…. All mistakes are my own, and for some reason I can finally reply to reviews, so as of last chapter I can now reply to them… this chapter it very emotional, and I promise this will be the last of these chapters for a while, and we will see some more Bella Paul interactions after this chapter as well, but I will warn you they don't get back together in this chapter…. And probably wont til the very last chapter of the story and then that's a huge maybe, you'll see why in this chapter.**

**Sensitive topic such as miscarriages is talked about in this chapter**

**Chapter Fourteen The kitchen table.**

Bella sighed tiredly as she sat at her kitchen table, this place she had made a home for her and the boys, she had managed to provide and care for them all without the pack.

But it seems that she could never escape them.

Rubbing at the hollow feeling in her heart, Bella closed her eyes.

She just needed to be able to think a bit clearer that's all.

She needed to be able to sort through everything, and with the boys gone and only Paul around she hoped it would be a little easier.

A lot easier to deal with everything that had been happening in her life as of late, without worrying that something would happen to her kids.

Breathing a sigh of relief Bella gently ran her hand over the dinning table, each stain a reminder of the meals, and the spills that her and her boys had shared over the past twelve years.

There's even the mark in the wood that her and Paul had made when they had had to much wine one night, before Jason was conceived.

Smiling lightly she remembered the way Paul's eyes use to light up as she entered the kitchen when he came home from work, the feeling she use to get when he whispered he loved her in her ear while she stood at the stove cooking their tea.

Then she remembers the look of bitter disappointment, the hate that wafted off him when she had told him she was pregnant, the angry words and the fear she feel when he had left the house and hadn't came back for three months.

All the times he had hurt her through the years, was always there, even when Jason took his first steps, or the twins learnt their first words, those joyous moments that Paul should of shared with her, he had ran from them.

He had spent more time away then at home.

Running her fingers along the edge where a piece of the table was missing she smiled lightly, she had been cooking a meal when Harley had started to learn to walk, he was still wobbly on his little legs, and had been chasing his older brothers when he had slipped and banged into the corner of the table, taking a chuck out of his forehead along with a piece of wood from the table, Bella remembered the panic she had felt as Harley lay on the ground not making a sound, she had thought she had lost her little boy, until he had let out a piercing scream and clutched at his head.

The paint specks that littered the table top still remained from the twins first time playing with paint, their glee as the red and blue soaked into the grain of the old table, Bella didn't know whether to laugh at them finger painting her kitchen table or to take the paint away from them.

Even Jason's first kiss had happened at the kitchen table when they though Bella wasn't looking, him and a pretty blonde had been studying English when Jason had kissed her, she remembered the blush high on both their cheeks as they stared at each other afterwards before leaning in for another simple brush of their lips together.

She had some serious discussions at this dinning table.

And it seemed that tonight she would have another one, she just hoped that she would be conversing with the man not the wolf.

As her back door opened, she took a sip of her cup of tea.

Paul never did seem to know what time he was meant to be somewhere.

"Bella" Paul breathed.

Placing her cup on the table, Bella indicated that he should sit across from her "hello Paul, have a seat"

Paul shuffled lightly, before he took the seat she indicated "Bella I-"

"no" Bella cut across him "for once its my time to talk, you get to just sit there and listen for a change."

Paul swallowed lightly, his hands fisted as he nodded his head.

"your having trouble controlling your wolf" Bella stated "so I'll say this as nice as I can, so you don't try to attack me again."

"he doesn't want you leaving with his kids" Paul muttered.

"funny how that's what the wolf wants and you don't." Bella snipped as she twirled her cup in her hands.

"Bella I-"

"shut up" Bella snapped, she was thankful she had taken a calmer before she decided to have this discussion with Paul "I'm talking not you"

Paul nodded, his shoulders straightening slightly.

"For twelve years I have put up with your abuse."

"I never hit you" Paul snapped "I never laid a hand on you."

Bella snorted "there is more then one type of abuse, you used the imprint pull so that I was more compliant with you, you stretched the bond that far so that when you returned I would be so relieved I overlooked everything."

"I didn't do it so that you stayed with me" Paul cut across "I stayed away because I believed that your kids weren't mine."

"Well who's the fool now" Bella snapped "you are the only man I had ever slept with" taking a deep breath she stated "you have emotionally and mentally abused me for years, the only thing that has kept me sane is because I have my boys."

Breathing deeply she stated "I have gone through years and years of heartbreak all by myself, you weren't there when my boys got sick, you weren't even there to hold my hand when I gave birth, as soon as you found out I was pregnant you ran away with your tail between your legs."

Trying to control her anger, Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before continuing "I couldn't even enrol my boys into the reservation school, let alone go down to the local supermarket and buy groceries because not only was I not welcome, I was a disgrace for cheating on my warrior, for not believing in the beliefs of the tribe, even people not in the pack were able to sense something was not right and flocked away from us."

Looking up at Paul Bella snapped "what made you think I had cheated on you in the first place? What made you believe that I was that unhappy with you that I would look for comfort elsewhere?"

Paul reached across the table and grabbed her hand "Bella, I am so sorry" he croaked "I didn't realise it was that bad when I wasn't here, I don't know what to say to make this better."

"Just answer the question I asked" Bella stated, as she withdraw her hands from his.

"I couldn't have kids" he croaked "I had an accident with my father when I was a boy and the doctors said I was sterile"

"why the hell didn't you tell me this" Bella cried as she rose from the table "the wolf gene healed all aliments, it cleared up Jared's eye sight and Seth's asthma or did you not remember that, all this time you though I cheated on you, you neglected and degraded my boys over the fact that you were to stupid to realise that the wolf gods fixed the fact that you couldn't have kids" pausing she stated bitterly "the whole reason you wolves imprint in because of breeding, you wouldn't imprint if you couldn't breed."

"I know that now" Paul snapped back "I know that there all mine now alright, I now I'm the world's worst mate, husband and father."

"Your damn right you are" Bella snapped back "your not even a father, you're their sperm donor" she stated, as she placed her hand across her stomach. "You don't even deserve to be there father, let alone be in the same room as them."

Paul flinched at her words "Bella-"

"no" she snapped "you don't get any favours, because you couldn't even speak to me about your problems, you put me through hell for twelve years thinking it was me." She turned her back to him "you made me think that I was the one with all the problems, you made me think that I was worthless, that I shouldn't be here, you made me second doubt everything about myself."

"I supported myself and my children why you went and spent time away from home doing god knows what, and when your back on the res you flaunt around with your women wrapped around you like a sweater"

"I don't sleep with them." Paul cut across "I couldn't cheat on you"

"so you tried" Bella stated turning to face him "when?"

"a few years back" Paul muttered as he ran his finger along a crack in the table "you had just had Harry and Charlie, they were about 10 months old, and I could smell Edward Cullen all over you"

Bella's back stiffened slightly, she had known that he was cheating on her, but to hear him actually say it made her heart squeeze, before she calculated the date in her head.

September the 12th.

She had had her miscarriage that night.

"I got so angry, that I found Jessica Stanley, and I ended up having sex with her in an alley way when I came home-"

"You found out I had been rushed to the hospital" Bella cut across, as she felt tears slip down her cheeks

Paul nodded "I came to see you, but the Cullens wouldn't let me in."

"I miscarried that night" Bella stated, as she tried to control the sobs that were trying to build up in her throat "while you were fucking that slut in the alley way, I laid on the kitchen floor in a pool of my blood, before Alice had a vision and was able to call the ambulance, my three year old son and his 10 month old brothers lay in their beds and cried for me and I could do nothing because of the crippling pain I was in." dashing at the tears that fall down her cheeks Bella snapped "I thought I was being punished for something I had done by your gods, that I was unworthy to have another baby." Sobbing lightly Bella shouted "it was because of you I lost my baby."

Paul stood up from the table the chair flying into the bench behind him in his haste to get to Bella, pulling her into his arms, he tried to comfort her "I'm so sorry" he pleaded with her.

Slapping his arms away from her, she tried to push him away "Its all your fault" she screamed "I lost my baby because of your selfishness, and I'm probably going to lose this one to because of you."

"Bella please" Paul pleaded "please just let me hold you"

"No" Bella snapped, as she finally got away from him, putting the kitchen table between them she snapped "you don't get anything from me anymore." Wiping at her eyes, she collapsed into the closest chair "I lost my baby because of you" she sobbed as she buried her head into her arms and wept.

"I'm sorry" Paul whispered, as he dropped to his knees beside her "I had no idea what the implications of cheating on you would be until I heard you were in the hospital, I didn't mean for any of this to happen Bella" his head encased her jean covered knee "I promise you that I never meant for that to happen, please you have to believe me if I had of known the repercussions I would never have looked at another woman." Resting his face on her knees, his giant shoulders shook as the sorrow was past through their bond. "I am so sorry, so sorry" be begged as he buried his head further into her knees, his tears dampening her jeans.

Closing her eyes tightly Bella let the grief and sorrow wash over her.

Where Pauls touch her she felt like she was being wrapped in a secure blanket after walking through a snow storm.

She felt safe, just at his touch.

"I'm so sorry" Paul muttered as he kissed her knee caps "I promise I will make it up to you."

"you can't" Bella croaked, clearing her throat she stated "you can't make it up to me, I thought my world was ending when I lost my baby, if it wasn't for Jason and the twins, I wouldn't have gotten up in the mornings. You ran away when I needed you the most Paul how can you make that up to me?"

"I didn't run away" Paul muttered, his face still pressed to her knees "I stayed as close to you as I could, the Cullens wouldn't let me near you at the hospital, and then I couldn't fight the urge to phase, and I was stuck wolf for a month, I was as close to you as I could get without people knowing the secret." Rubbing his face against her knees he stated "I couldn't stay away, every time you were sick I use to sit outside the window, I just couldn't look at you while you were so happy with children I thought weren't mine."

"your wolf?" Bella asked

"I've been fighting him for so long, I thought he was just trying to get out, I never thought he was trying to tell me something until Jason phased" swallowing Paul stated "and then I finally listened to what he had to say."

Wiping at her eyes Bella stated "aren't you and the wolf the one person?"

"no" Paul answered, as he run his nose along her knee, inhaling deeply before stating "its like sharing one body with two people, I've just got so use to fighting him, I barely hear what he wanted to say to me" pausing he stated "until the evidence was right in front of me" pushing his face into her knees he stated "I'm exactly like me father."

"no" Bella whispered

Paul raised his head, so their eyes were locked "Bella"

"your worse" she stated, as she pushed him away from her, a part of her felt joy at the ability to cause him some pain "and there is nothing you can do to make what you have done up to me."

Paul flinched at her words, withdrawing completely from her. "Bella?"

"There's to much hurt Paul" Bella whispered as she brought her arms around her middle "you've hurt me to much to be able to just fix this relationship" breathing deeply she stated "in fact I don't think we could ever be an us again after what you've done."

Paul swallowed hard, his shoulders trembling in a way that Bella had never seen them quiver in the 14 years she had known Paul. "I understand" he said through gritted teeth. "I'll see what I can do about the council, is there anything I can do for you? For the boys?"

Bella sighed, as she felt his pain blast through their bond "the council can't take my boys"

"they wont, I'll make sure of it" Paul stated "and if you want the house your welcome to it, just please don't leave the area" he paused, as he hunched his shoulders over further "I want to be able to see the boys make it up to them, and i can see you to help with the imprint pull so its not so hard with" he swallowed "with you being pregnant, that can't be good for the baby."

"I went through five pregnancies feeling that pull" Bella stated drily "and the council can't touch the boys because your not on their birth certificates, and I don't want this house, I'll be moving with the boys into Charlie's old house, so we wont be that far away."

Paul nodded "I guess I should have known that."

Bella nodded "you can see the boys, but I doubt they'll want anything to do with you, especially Jason."

Paul nodded quickly "can I" he paused "I know you don't own me anything, but can I help you with this pregnancy, can I go to the appointments with you."

Bella placed her hands on her stomach. "No" she stated "I'm not ready to pretend we're a family again, when I don't think we ever will be."

Paul flinched at her words, as he stood up from the ground "I need to go, thank you" he snapped as he fled the room, as soon as the door slammed Bella closed her eyes as she heard the sound of ripping clothes followed by a heart wrenching howl.

She hoped she had done the right thing.

**So….what do you guys think? I promise Paul turns around after this chapter, and things get better for Bella. **

**The kitchen table mentioned in this chapter is exactly like my nana's kitchen table, including the blue and red paint that me and my cousin tipped all over it one day, as are all the little nicks and the drawings.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**Lily**


	15. Chapter 15 The Talk

**Hi all, so here is chapter fifteen, I now have a Beta and will be giving her the chapters from now on… so no more spelling mistakes yay… also for some reason wouldn't let me post this chapter, so I hope you are all able to read it.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Lily.**

Chapter fifteen the talk

Paul felt his lungs expand with an explosion of fire, as he howled his grief into the night.

He couldn't believe what he had done.

He couldn't believe how things had gone so wrong.

And it was his entire fault.

He should of listened to his wolf when it demand him to instead of ignoring it.

He was meant to be one with his wolf, not at odds with him.

Bella's grief washed through him again and again as he thought over her words

_There is nothing you can do to make what you have done up to me_

He felt pain slice through him.

He had made his own imprint miscarriage.

He had murdered his own baby.

Howling again, he wanted nothing more then to curl up in a ball and die for what he had caused.

Breathing deeply, he allowed the pain to surround him; thankful that he was alone on patrol he didn't want any of his brothers feeling his pain.

His brothers.

That was something he needed to fix, they had caused Bella just as much pain as he had over the years, not as bad as he did but just the same they had made her life here harder then it needed to be.

And it was all because of him.

He was the worst imprint in the world, and he needed to fix the mess he had caused.

His wolf whined in agreement.

The first step he needed to make was to talk to the elders and the pack, he needed them to leave Bella alone, and explain what had happened and that Bella was not at fault.

He knew it wouldn't be easy, what with the packs word basically being the law; he hadn't just used his job as an excuse to get away from Bella, but away from his duties here to the pack and to his tribe.

He had a council seat, his word held a lot of weight that he should be using to change things on the Reservation.

He could see now the disrepair that the houses on the Reservation had fallen into, he could see empty stores where once something had stood.

Even the streets themselves were littered with pot holes.

He needed to make things right, starting with Bella

He needed to step up to his responsibilities instead of burying his head in the sand like he had been doing the last thirteen years.

He was the one in the wrong and he would make it up to Bella anyway he could.

Even if he wasn't actually there beside her, he would make sure that she got everything she needed.

Phasing back to his human skin, he enter Billy Black's house.

He could see toys thrown about the room from Jacob's young son on the floor, clothes folded on the couch and something boiling on the old stove.

"Billy you in?" Paul asked as he walked through the small house.

"Where else would I be boy?" Billy shot back as he exited the bathroom, eyeing Paul he asked "you made up with Bella yet?"

"That's why I'm here" Paul stated as he shuffled his feet lightly "I need the council to back off, just leave her alone."

"I can't do that Paul, its in the tribe and the packs best interest if she and those boys stay on the reservation."

"If you don't back off she'll leave." Paul stated "we talked it out, and I promised her you will all leave her alone so that she could get on with her life, we're going to work it out, I've got a lot of things to make up for, and I'm starting by asking you to leave her alone like she has asked." Breathing deeply Paul muttered "please"

Billy frowned "what aren't you telling me boy?"

"I cheated on Bella, I lied to her, and used the imprint against her." He paused "not like Emily uses it against Sam, but very close."

Billy sighed "did she tell you that she would stay with you if you backed off."

"no" Paul shock his head "she'll be moving to Forks its Charlie's old house where she feels comfortable."

"Jason?" Billy asked "what about him? He hasn't ran any patrols or even bonded with his pack?"

"I'll take care of it, I just want you to leave her alone Billy, let her leave so that I can fix the damage I have caused her, I fucked up big time Billy, and I need to fix this."

Billy sighed "the council will drop the issue for now, but if she leaves Forks we will step in."

Paul felt like snorting with laughter at that, the council were all wind, they wouldn't get there hands dirty, they would whisper in Sam's ear and they would be forced to do it.

"I assume that the pack will be helping her move?" Billy asked

"no" Paul stated "she didn't want anything to do with the pack, so I want permission for a few Cullens to come through the boarder and help her move, I'll watch them and I'm sure Embry Seth and Leah will to."

Billy nodded "I have your word you will fix this."

Paul nodded, as he turned to leave.

As he got to the door Billy called out "Paul, if your imprint was to have an accident, you'll die to."

Paul wasn't sure if it was a threat or not, but he decided that he would defiantly be watching the pack and Billy Black.

He hoped that Bella would be able to forgive him one day.

**So…. What did you think?**

**Lily.**


	16. Chapter 16 Moving day

**Hi all so sorry for the long wait, I have been in hospital with my kidney, Im apparently pretty sick, so here is chapter 16 and once my amazing beta finishes with 17 I'll post that. Sorry for the wait. This chapter was betad by Ctwinter.**

Chapter Sixteen moving day

Bella smiled as she watched Emmett lift her dining table and place it in the moving van.

Paul was true to his word. He'd done everything in his power to help her when he could and when she asked for it. Including intervening to allow the Pack's natural enemies on tribal land. She had asked that the Cullens be granted permission to enter the reservation and help her move. Within the next few days the Cullens, along with Embry and Seth, had come to her house to help her pack up her and the kids' belongings. The twins thought it was awesome how much stuff their uncles could lift, while Jason tried his best to not cringe every time his uncle Emmett and Jasper slapped him on the shoulder.

Jason was doing remarkably well for such a young wolf. He had only had one accidental phase in the few days they had been packing and moving. It happened when Esme hugged him in greeting like she used to before he phased. He ran to the edge of the woods where he phased. Bella had apologized to her old friend but Esme had brushed her off with a simple, "I should have known better. I'll just have to give him extra cookies next time instead of a hug."

Bella had smiled at the acceptance of her vampire family. She was also thankful that Rosie was watching the other boys during the chaos of moving. The last thing she needed was to explain to her boys why their brother was a giant wolf; her younger boys weren't in on the secret.

"Hey mum," Jason called.

"Yeah baby?" Bella asked.

"Why are we taking this stuff when we know Aunt Alice would have already bought us tons more?" Jason asked as he leaned against the door

frame, his shirt off his body and tucked into his back pocket just like his uncle Embry.

Looking at her son Bella felt a wave of pain wash over her as she remembered his father standing the exact same way, his features set in the same expression as Paul's so many years ago.

"Because I said so," Bella stated as she turned away to watch Jasper and Seth carry out a stack of boxes from the twin's room.

"He's right Bella," Alice chirped as she came to stand next to Bella, her arm going around Bella's waist, "I've bought you new furniture already."

"That's why I'm leaving everything else," she stated.

"The dining table," Jasper relied, his voice carrying his drawl, "Is that not furniture?"

"That has memories scratched into the surface," Bella argued as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Alice hummed lightly, her eyes glazing over, "Well, when you put it like that . . . " Turning her sharp eyes to face Seth she snapped, "Put those boxes on the left side of the truck. I don't want them popping open. The last thing Bella needs is paint on everything."

Jason snickered lightly as he brushed past them, "I don't think I'll ever get used to your powers Aunt Alice," shaking his head. He scrambled up inside the truck to help Seth unload the boxes where Alice wanted them.

Alice hummed again, her eyes glazed over before she smiled, "You'll be thankful of my gift when you're older."

"Will I be?" Bella asked as she eyed her friend.

Alice frowned slightly before smiling,"Maybe. You're still patchy."

"Patchy?" Bell echoed.

"I think its because of Jason and the baby," Alice stated, "When its calm I see your future. Its like when you're with Paul, the glimpses of when he's not around you I see you growing old surrounded by grandkids. But when his there, its nothing, its like I'm looking at a deep black void and it makes my head hurt."

"Sorry I fell in love with a wolf," Bella retorted drily as she eyed the box of Harley's stuffed toys.

"I did tell you they were bad company to keep," Alice chirped.

Bella smiled slightly at that reference. It had been said years ago in Charlie's kitchen, right before she had chosen Paul over Edward. One well placed phone call had stopped Edward's suicide attempt but it had taken him a few more years to be able to come back and talk to her face to face.

"I don't regret choosing Paul, Alice," Bella stated as she smiled at her son, watching him glare at Emmett before pouncing on him. Their makeshift wrestling match attracted the attention of the other men.

"Even after everything he did?" Alice asked.

"I got the five best things to ever happen to me out of it," Bella replied as she watched her son on the front lawn. "Hopefully it will be six great gifts."

Alice hummed lightly before closing her eyes, "Nope, still can't tell you the sex of this one."

"It's a girl. I feel that this one is going to be a girl."

Alice shook her head before stomping her foot as her gaze turned to the men rough housing on the lawn, "Will you two knock it off! Emmett, you're old enough to know better. And Jason, superhuman wolf or not, I will put you over my knee if you ruin those jeans anymore then they already are."

Jason grunted lightly, "We're only having fun Aunt Alice."

Alice narrowed her eyes at him before walking off into the house, "So were the Romans when they invaded Britain."

"Ah, Aunt Alice . . . " Jason started.

"Don't get into that conversation son," Jasper remarked, "She knows someone who was there when it happened."

Bella shook her head at the craziness that was her chosen family. Looking around she felt a peaceful sensation wash over her, causing her to smile lightly.

Looking around the scene before her, Bella knew that when everyone's heads turned towards the left that Paul was in the bushes. She smirked as they all began loading the boxes again, completely ignoring him. She supposed that he was doing what she asked by not forcing interaction between the two of them, while making sure he didn't cause her pain by being too far away for the imprint to get uncomfortable. Even though he was doing exactly what she asked, she couldn't help but feel disappointed that he didn't want to actually touch her. She knew she was being contradictory but the pull of the imprint was always there in the background.

Feeling the flutters of her baby she decided that she would approached her husband to discuss the subject later. Thoughts of Paul always made the baby more active. It was like the baby knew that its parents weren't talking and was trying to make her presence known so that they spoke.

"Bella," Alice called, "The truck is all loaded and we're ready to leave when you are."

Bella sighed as she turned to look at the house where she had raised her boys. She couldn't believe that she was leaving the house she had made her home. Squaring her shoulders, she closed the door for the last time in the house she had lived in with Paul. It was time for her to move on and open more doors for herself and her boys.

She felt the weight lift from her shoulders as she climbed into her car and followed the moving van to Charlie's old house.

Her new home.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing.**


	17. authors sorry

Hi all.

I want to thank everyone for being so patient with me and waiting for an update, I am sorry this isn't one, but I am having a personal health issue and for the next three months, due to treatment I will be unable to post anything, nor have the energy to write something.

thank you all for being kind and understanding, and I hope that when I get around to finishing my stories you still love them.

lily


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